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clitoris stimulationI don't have much sexual experience and I'm having a little bit of a problem when I perform oral sex on my girlfriend. When I go down on her I can't tell if I'm actually in contact with her clitoris. When I do get a good reaction from her, I know that I'm touching it, but I don't feel anything different with my tongue that makes me think "clitoris." If I move my head for whatever reason, I have to try and get my tongue there again.Another problem is that I can't seem to move my tongue fast enough. I can only really move my tongue sideways when I'm performing on her. I've tried to lick up and down, (like a lollipop), but I feel like gagging when I do, and I can't do it fast at all. So my two questions are:
Jim Hi Jim, You're not the only guy who feels a bit lost when it comes to female anatomy. The clitoris and its surrounding region remain uncharted territory for many men, and consequently effective oral sex techniques are elusive -- even for those with a wealth of sexual experience. Furthermore, this is a tough cycle to break; men tend to have faith in their own sexual prowess, and women tend to be accommodating, so bad oral sex usually continues for far longer than it should. My usual response to this brand of question is to suggest more open communication between you and your partner, but the fact is that she might not be as straightforward or as hard on you as she should. So I'm going to direct you to seek out some resources on how to improve your game south of the border. You'll find some good advice via a search on AskMen.com. Or, you can check out Ian Kerner's She Comes First. Kerner is a clinical sexologist, and this is the most exhaustive and well-informed handbook on cunnilingus out there today. Donald Zimmer allergic reactionI'm a 19-year-old female and I recently started dating a guy. Each time that I have given him oral sex and swallowed, I've felt intense nausea a couple of hours later. I have never had this problem with guys in the past. Is this normal? Is his semen making me sick?Andrea Andrea, Allergies frequently develop later in life. This can be the case with a semen allergy as well, which would account for the fact that this is a new problem for you. Semen allergy, or "human seminal plasma hypersensitivity," was first encountered by gynecologists back in 1958. An estimated 5% of women are allergic to semen, many of which suffer reactions to certain foods, as well. For this reason, it is believed that there's a connection between the two -- that a similar protein composition shared between semen and certain foods can produce a similar reaction. The nauseous response that you describe, however, is very uncommon. On top of the fact that the allergy in itself is only seen in a small fraction of the female population, any kind of reaction to the oral ingestion of semen is rare. Usually the stomach will have broken down the composite ingredients of the emission before the immune system can react to any of them. So go see a physician or an allergist and get a professional diagnosis. Donald Zimmer Is it possible to over-masturbate? hooked on a feelingI am 26 years old and have been masturbating almost four times a week for the past 11 years. I am really worried that I will not be able to decrease the frequency of masturbation, and do it only once every week. I need to know how to control myself from masturbating, and I also need to know the ill effects of frequent masturbation.All along I have been very athletic and have not yet suffered anything because of my frequent masturbation. I am usually turned on early in the morning and subsequently I do it in the shower. I also have a sexual relationship and my girlfriend is extremely pleased with my performance (there have been days where I have masturbated in the morning and made it with my girlfriend in the evening). I just need to know how to cut short my masturbation. S. Hi S., Given your age and the frequency that you describe, your masturbation patterns are perfectly normal. There are no ill effects, so let's move on to some solutions. Exercising your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle is a good first step toward learning to control your pace and frequency of orgasms. And increased blood flow throughout the body will also help. This is largely a question of lifestyle changes, but applying a warm cloth to the groin area immediately after ejaculation is a good short-term way to get the blood circulating quickly again. As well, keep in mind that orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things, although they tend to occur together. If you can learn to orgasm without ejaculating, then it may be possible for you to enjoy multiple orgasms as well. Donald Zimmer orgasm resistanceI am a 27-year-old, athletic male who was recently diagnosed with very mild insulin resistance. For the past year or so, I have tended to ejaculate without achieving an orgasm. In fact, sex for me has become completely devoid of any pleasurable sensation, or sensation period. Please advise.DH Hello DH, First, let me explain your condition to those who are not familiar with it. Insulin resistance is a term that is actually used to describe one of a number of medical conditions -- heart disease, high blood pressure and obesity amongst them. They are linked in that they all cause the body to misuse its insulin supply, leading to compensatory increases in insulin secretion. In its later stages, insulin-resistance syndrome can cause nerve damage, and has thus been linked with difficulties in achieving orgasm. For a young, healthy male who has been diagnosed with a mild form of the syndrome, however, no such effects should arise. Make an appointment with your physician and have him find out what the real cause of your problem is. Donald Zimmer |
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