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finger fun

I use my fingers to pleasure my fiancee. When I start doing it faster and harder I'm afraid I might damage something inside by using so much force, and a few times my nail has made her bleed from inside. We are planning to have kids and I'm really hoping this won't cause any future problems.

AC

AC,

I certainly understand how it can be easy to get carried away in the throes of passion, but remember: The point of using your fingers is to help pleasure her, not maul her. First things first, make sure you keep your nails short and tidy if you know that they?re going to make frequent visits to your fiancee?s genital region. Once you?ve taken care of those hang nails, approach her sensitive spots with soft caresses rather than brute force. The trick is to start off slow, gauge her response to your touches and then apply an increasing amount of pressure as she desires it.

While your forceful finger tactics obviously won?t cause her any real internal damage (don?t worry: You don?t have access to her uterus, so she can still have children), you can make it painful and/or uncomfortable for her if you insert your finger too deep or accidentally scratch any of her sensitive spots.

Donald Zimmer

it?s leaking

Ever since I was a teenager, I've noticed that during foreplay I have excessive semen that "leaks" out. This also happens when my wife gives me oral sex, and she tells me she doesn't like the taste of it. Because of that, she rarely gives me oral sex. She tells me that this wasn't a problem with other men that she has been with. What I'd like to know is if this is indeed normal or if it is something else?

Drew

Drew,

You?re describing pre-ejaculatory fluid. It?s a clear secretion that is released during sexual arousal, neutralizing urine?s acid in the urethra and providing lubrication for intercourse. The amount of fluid produced varies from man to man; some experience excessive amounts of pre-ejaculate, while others barely produce any. Considering that it actually provides a clear-cut function, I?d say that no fluid at all would be a bigger problem than too much.

So, rest assured that you are indeed normal, and kindly relay the message to your wife. Since the amount of pre-ejaculatory fluid you produce is an uncontrollable issue, there is really no way to ease your wife?s dislike of it. Perhaps you can discuss the issue and find a happy medium where you get an amount of oral sex that is acceptable to you, and in return she receives a sexual act that she likes to get more than you like to give.

Donald Zimmer

attractive food

Are truffles (not the chocolate, but the mushroom) aphrodisiacs? I read about it somewhere and was looking for confirmation.

Luc

Luc,

While aphrodisiacs aren?t a confirmed science, truffles (yes, the mushroom) are said to make sparks fly when consumed raw. The gourmet fungus contains pheromones, the same kind of chemical that is also found in humans and is related to attraction and arousal. So, logic dictates that truffles may have the same effect on women that your natural scent does. There?s certainly no harm in testing this theory out.

Donald Zimmer

penis changes

I'd like to know what changes appear in the penis when a guy loses his virginity.

Sean

Sean,

Seeing as a woman goes through a physical change when losing her virginity (tearing her hymen), you ask a valid question to which there is a very simple answer: The penis stays the same. There are no physical changes on the penis that indicate whether a man has lost his virginity. No flashing red lights, no sudden emergence of polka dots or ?non-virgin? signs written on it? You?ll look exactly the same as you did before.

Donald Zimmer

unsnipped scare

I'm still a virgin and I've been with my girlfriend for about four months now. I know she wants to give me oral sex and I want her to, but I don't think she has ever seen an uncircumcised penis before, which is a problem because I am uncircumcised. I don't know how she will react to seeing this different type of penis.

Bruno

Bruno,

You talk about your uncircumcised penis as if it?s some extinct species from the wild. It?s just foreskin, Bruno; lots of men have it. True, some women have a dislike for it, but other women really couldn?t care either way. It seems to me that men obsessed with every tiny facet of their penises (in other words: all men), are harder on themselves than are the actual women they?re sleeping with. In fact, many women prefer an uncircumcised penis, as they say the foreskin helps stimulate their G-spot.

To ease your concern, you can either approach this situation in two ways: Tell her what to expect or don?t say anything and hope she doesn?t have a preference. Since I?m always a supporter of communication, I?d mention the foreskin to her beforehand and that you?re a little uncomfortable with it. This way, she?ll be sensitive to your situation. Timing is everything with this talk: Don?t bring it up when you?re in the heat of the moment -- you?ll just end up killing the mood.

Donald Zimmer

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