I usually have a very open mind when it comes to visiting a topless club for the first time.  It is important to not have any preconceived notions about what I am about to experience.  With that being said I have to explain that I was very excited about going to Scores Las Vegas.  How could I not be?  This was the topless club that so many of us heard about from Howard Stern.  This landmark of New York City finally had a Vegas connection and I was very excited to see it first hand.  After all of the talk about the beautiful women and the great atmosphere, I was pumped to get there and soak in the experience.  It did not turn out as I hoped.

We entered the club and were quickly informed that the rate was the same for locals as it was for out of town visitors.  Most clubs offer a locals special, which more often than not means you do not pay a cover charge.  OK I thought it is Scores and if I have to pay for it then so be it.  I handed over the cover for myself and my wife. I just wanted to get inside and enjoy.  Once through the door I was quickly accosted by a host who informed me that there would be a wait for seating (something not mentioned prior to paying) unless I wanted bottle service.  When we are preparing reviews we do not drink until we have enough material to satisfy our members so I declined the bottle service and told the doorman we would find something on our own.  He gave me a look that implied that I was no longer worthy of his time and turned away.  OK, so what I thought, it is Scores and it is an icon in the adult entertainment industry.  It is the template for topless clubs.  It is the club franchise most mentioned by athletes, musicians and actors (more on the actor part later).  We continued in to have a look around.  The club was packed and there appeared to be at least 100 entertainers standing around.  Now when I say standing around that is exactly what I mean.  They were standing against the walls just watching the show on the stage.  There was no attempt to speak to my party and there was barely any eye contact.  The club has only one stage in the main area and it is only visible from one half of the club.  Not the best setup for a club.  The club attempts to compensate by having 2 – 3 dancers on the stage at the same time.  The dancers do not interact with each other so it is a bit odd.  They looked as if they had staked out territory and probably did.  The dancers did seem to be talented and attractive but the stage was too crowded.  After watching for a bit we decided to look around a little.  We went upstairs and quickly realized that it was near impossible to navigate.  The signage was extremely poor and it seemed to have many exclusive areas that the general public was not allowed into.  Understand that we are not the least bit afraid to spend money in our quest to find the best in adult entertainment for you, but we could not even locate a staff member to let us know what was available.  Not wanting to stumble in to an uncomfortable situation we settled down at a table and watched the club.  At one point an entertainer sat at the table next to us.  She did not say a word or attempt to engage in any conversation.  Even worse she never even smiled at us.  She seemed really irritated about the fact that she had to work.  We did finally see her get excited when it was announced that Robert Downey Jr. and Gary Busey had just arrived at the club.  It was like a stampede to find the movie stars.  Women appeared out of the woodwork, the bathrooms empties, female visitors took off their tops, and the hunt was on.  As much as I enjoyed this portion of the unplanned show, it was about this point I realized that this was just not my kind of place.  I felt either too sober or too common to be there.  I am certain there is a market for creating this type of atmosphere but it is not one that we wanted to pay for.  We are not famous, we are not elitist and we are not pretentious.  In short I guess we are not the target customer for Scores Las Vegas.

After feeling extremely claustrophobic and uncomfortable we left.  My disappointment was beyond measure.  I had wanted so much to enjoy this club.  I had been hearing about it for years and really had such great expectations.  In the end I was disappointed.  We may go to Scores again but it will probably not be for a while.  Maybe once the shine of “newest club in Vegas” wears off they will attempt to better connect with the customers.  I did not feel any connection with the staff, none of which were friendly.  The dancers were attractive but not any better then at friendlier clubs (Minxx and Seamless come to mind).  Maybe it was too busy, maybe the girls were tired, maybe the staff is too new, who knows.  First impressions are the most lasting and our first impression of Scores was that it simply was not as impressive as we would have thought.