I feel these days like I’m just sitting around waiting to work. If I get too busy doing something else I’ll miss that rare, last-minute call that actually turns into money. Such was the case Saturday, Sunday and Monday when I had two escort outcalls and a BDSM incall, in that order, two of which were last minute. And I went out right then and there. I’ll write about the sessions later. Right now my mind is on this feeling of being On Call, twiddling my thumbs, trying not to spend any money.

I had appointments set up for yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Yesterday’s outcall canceled on me at the last minute in spite of having given me his home address, landline...

When we meet people for the first time at work, school, parties, bars, through friends and family, etc., the first sense you get of them is their outwards appearance, their mannerisms, facial expressions, personality, sometimes their character over time. Usually we don’t reveal our deepest thoughts, feelings, prejudices and opinions when we first meet people. They emerge slowly over time through shared experiences and sometimes we are hurt to discover that somebody we like and admire is upset when they find out we don’t share their religious views or politics or whatever, and vice versa. But when you read somebody’s blog you can get a pretty good idea of how their mind works and what they value long before you...

I’ve noticed a psychological pattern to the way I approach sex work. Although the articles below were written while I was working as an escort, the same feelings ocassionally pop up in my pro domme travels:

I Could Use a Trick
Sometimes my calls keep me distracted from experiencing emotional pain and insecurity in my life. The whole process of going out on a call takes me out of my existence for a short while.

Hooker’s Trance
During a call I move from reality into a kind of trance where I don’t think about anybody I know, anything I’d rather be doing, or anything I believe in.

Hooker’s Hangover
Sometimes I feel a kind of high when I’m busy turning tricks. Sometimes it feels like I’m...

From fuzzybabybunny (aka Victor),

I’m wondering how many emails you get a day. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a bajillion

A bajillion? Sorry, but even in kinky California my phone is not exactly ringing off the hook with guys looking to get their nuts abused, ass-fucked, bound, gagged and pissed on. I get about three calls a day, one out of which is serious about paying for a session but may or may not decide to see me right away, if at all. Most calls come from guys who have the phone in one hand and their dick in the other, pretending to want an appointment so they can ask me a bunch of questions about kinky things I...

There’s a certain phrase I keep stumbling on in my blog reading travels, especially when the topic has to do with feminism and sex work. So I put this question to any and all sex worker bloggers, feminist, post-feminist, and anti-femnist bloggers, self-professed nympho bloggers, black-rimmed-glasses-wearing vixen bloggers, porn loving bloggers, and other such sex activist bloggers:

What does “sex positive” mean?

And now I need the funds in order to do it.

I’ve spent these last few months since quitting a part-time job searching around for something to do that would be more fun, regardless of what it pays, figuring that BDSM would provide that extra income boost. Unfortunately, as Thanksgiving nears and the economy slows, I have struggled to live off BDSM alone.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I have finally figured out what I want my next career to be!

It’s something in which I can use some skills and experience that I’ve gained from my previous two fields, but…requires some connections and extra training. Hence, my side ‘career’ in sex work continues.

I am not happy about the fact that...

Recently I’ve been answering calls from blocked numbers. Yes, there have been more time-wasting crap to weed through, but also a few people who sounded genuinely serious and may or may not call back for an actual appointment.

Meanwhile, I took a blocked call while I was running around downtown today, and the guy wanted something immediate. I told him I could meet in an hour and gave him the general neighborhood of the incall space and told him to call 30 min. before the meeting to confirm (I do this with every caller to test that they are serious about actually meeting). He called back, so I gave him a street corner to call me from at our designated time....

If you�ve been stalking me these past couple weeks you might have noticed that I haven�t been doing many calls. Last week the phone hardly rang, and when it did, guys just wanted to ask questions and make conversation while they stroked themselves, or they�d say they wanted an appointment only to never call back to confirm, while I got all dressed up and ready to go. Bastards.

Meanwhile, my laptop crapped out and the repair shop said it would be so expensive to fix that I might as well just buy a new one. I just don�t have the spending cash for something like that right now so I went to Best Buy and got something on their 18-month no-interest...

�the sacred night� wonders about the morality of paying for sex:

…from (a friend who is a sex worker) and from you, I�m hearing that you don�t enjoy it and you seem to feel oppressed by your johns at the same time as you want them to hire you so you can make money. My question is whether you think johns are doing something wrong by paying for sex. Is the sex industry oppressing sex workers?

…Like if I paid for sex, should I feel bad for oppressing or exploiting the sex worker, or should I assume s/he wants to be doing it?

…I am a woman and have considered hiring a female sex worker, but didn�t know if that would...

A question from Victor:

I want to apologize to a sex worker that I met in Nevada, and was wondering if you could give me some pointers on what to say and what not to say. It�s just that I�ve been kind of having an email dialogue with her, and now she�s not responding. I read some prostitute blogs like your�s and I realized that I said some REALLY stupid things, not because I was trying to be mean or creepy, but because of sheer naivete� now I really don�t feel right and I want to apologize for some of the things I said, but I�m afraid I�m going to say even MORE stupid things that I don�t realize are stupid�...

Some thoughts, advice, and how-to articles for sex workers (call girls mainly). I don’t know why I didn’t put this list together sooner!

Sex Work and Safety
The safety of sex work is dubious.

Hooker 101: Screening Johns
A screening process that weeds out the time-wasters, flakes, potential rip-offs, and maybe dangerous characters. Downloadable flow chart incuded!

Escort Reviews: How Important Are They?
Reviews of escorts are really important to johns who consider prostitution a “hobby,� but how much weight should they be given by escorts themselves?

So You Got a Bad Review
You might even believe yourself that the john wasn’t necessarily malicious, but of course, you’ll want to try and get the review removed anyway.

Managing Sex Requests You Don’t Want
After a well-worded ad, a good screening...

Yesterday around 6 in the evening I’d made myself some fish tacos and just sat down for a movie when a guy called up wanting an appointment for last night. I said I was booked when I very well could have eaten my tacos, gotten dressed, and gone to the space to meet him and make $200.

But I fucking let it go.

Lazy. Stupid.

For too long I have eaten, slept, partied and worked whenever they hell I felt like it. This erratic lifestyle is taking a toll. I am unfocused, unmotivated, and going broke. Something has to change.

Today I drew up this self-imposed schedule:

11 p.m. in bed
7 a.m. get up
7-10 a.m. breakfast, exercise, get dressed
10-noon writing my book and this blog
noon-1...

1. Obviously, you have to suck and fuck men you don’t know and are not attracted to.

2. Unlike all other professions (barring sports) where experience counts, your value as a sex worker decreases with age. Because customers value above all else a young attractive body and fresh, untested reverence for male authority (but they prefer to call it “a good attitude”).

3. It’s illegal. And society doesn’t look too favorably on WHORES anyway. So you have to keep a secret from almost everyone you know.

4. If you get messed with, abused, raped, or even killed on the job, you will get little sympathy and even less justice, since you were just asking for it by putting yourself into that position in...

A reader wonders if I can shed light on some activities in his neighborhood:

I am way out of my comfort zone but I hope my question does not offend you.

I have a new neighbor that has two BMWs, a Mercedes and a Mustang convertible. He is around alot during the day time and at night he often has women come over in average cars and then hop into one of his nice cars and they both drive off in separate cars. Sometimes he only has a single car at his house becuase the other ones are being used by others. He is about 30 years old the rent on the house is being paid by his “uncle” who looks very...

Here’s an easy one for any non-sex workers wanting to try their hand at e-mail screening. How many red flags can you find in this e-mail? I’d love to read your comments!

I would like an opportunity to do some sessions with you, perhaps on a regular schedule (weeky?). However, I am based in [suburban city on the peninsula], Luxury home. I live alone, but work out of my house. I have several assistants, but none who can provide the service you are offering.

My request is that we try to resolve the logistics issue. I could pick you up in the city, and return you safely home after each visit. I understand that requires trust. I am prepared to take you...

Getting close to desperate for money, I did something I haven’t done in a long while: Placed an ad for vanilla escorting in the classified section of the local review board and set up an incall at a hotel downtown for three nights.

After three days of bad, weekend TV, spending money to eat out (I might have missed the chance for a call if I’d gone home), and fielding lots of flaky, cheap, rude, or scary calls (one guy called after 11 one night telling me he had decided to “pull the trigger”), I dumped a whooping $400 into my bank account Monday morning. I’d been hoping to get at least five tricks, possibly seven, so I could pay the...