The gangling and pale Mina Meow is having pounding headaches, so she reports to Nurse Natali Demore's office and promptly disrobes after describing her symptoms. Demore immediately chloroforms her and sticks clamps on her buttocks. See? It's just like "Cold Comfort Farm"!

In "Medical Pain Sluts 2," the petite dominatrix Natali Demore clearly has something to prove, else she would treat pain rather than inflict more of it.

Admittedly I was compelled as if by the power of Christ to write something - anything - about anyone calling herself Mina Meow. After all, I thought, could she be the new Strokahontas? But I was drawn into the drama of the scene, which lasted all of ten minutes and which didn't resolve so much as left Ms. Meow curled in a supine fetal position with tubes in her ass.

I suppose it took her mind off the headaches...

· Bondage Orgasms (bondageorgasms.com)
· Buy "Medical Pain Sluts 2" (cduniverse.com)

Call girls (or escorts, if you prefer) are notoriously private people, who generally prefer to stay off the radar as they pursue the glorious, age old career of exchanging sex and companionship for money. Reality shows, on the other hand, are fundamentally about being on the radar and exploiting the intimate details of your private life for financial gain. We're not sure what you'd call a bizarro world where those two things come together. Oh wait, no, we do know: Hollywood. (reversecowgirlblog.blogspot.com, thumbnail star via Ask Jolene)

Biohazard front man Evan Seinfeld is arguably a man of many talents. In addition to creating some of the hardest teen angst music of my childhood, and the seminal rock rap anthem of high school senior year, he also appeared as a recurring character in the HBO prison drama, "Oz." Since those days, he’s moved on to a different field, marrying the reigning queen of porn, Tera Patrick and—for those of you just tuning in—launching a joint porno production company. We here at Fleshbot HQ watched Tera and her ink scrawled hubby as they took their first shaky steps; impure hopes quivering in our dirty little hearts. After a shaky start, it seems that the pair have finally made good on their promise of being the crossover couple of the decade.

The quality of their releases has definitely improved, and the launch of Rockstar Pimp seems to indicate that Evan's given up on his Spyder Jones persona and is literally just going for it balls out. In short order, Evan's taken what other rockers dream about and made it a reality: yes, he's fucking hot pornstars and getting paid for it.

This week he ups the ante with the release "Smoking Hot Latinas," fresh off the presses from his hardcore imprint, Iron Cross. It's truly impressive on many levels, not the least of which is the sincerity of the title. We're pretty blown away by just how far Evan has come in his pornographic evolution, going from mainstream interloper judged with a cautious but weary cynicism to performing in every single scene of his latest release like a full on porn stud! Our hats—and pants—are off to you, buddy!

With Evan plowing recklessly through simmering hot starlets Ann Marie Rios, Alexis Luv, Cassandra Cruz, Renae Cruz, and Rebeca Linares, we’re sure he’s bound to run across a certain degree of hatred and jealousy—but after peeking this gallery he sent over we guarantee that scorn and embarrassment will not accompany them.

"Smoking Hot Latinas" releases this week from Iron Cross and Tera Patrick Productions. Hate all you want.

· Teravision (teravision.com)

· Via fluffy feet (fluffyfeets.blogspot.com)

Much to the chagrin of that legendary Little Rock duo, it seems that gentlemen aren’t the only ones who prefer blondes. Turns out that hardcore porn fans dig ‘em too! (For the record, we meant Marilyn, not Hilary. Moving on then.)

Canadian evil porno super genius Eric Everhard uncovers this earth shattering revelation in his latest offering, "Blonde Ambition." With the help of his abnormally endowed team of vaginal explorers, he drills hard into the soft pink centers of several succulent young seductresses, including Lauren Phoenix, Keri Sable, Julie Silver, Jane Darling, Ellen Saint, Annette Schwartz, Carmen Kinsley, Maya Hills, and Alexis Texas. The ripe and juicy results ripple tellingly enough down the creamy, trembling inner thighs of these satisfied strumpets, who wail like klaxons, a shock of spun gold silk unabashedly waving like a conqueror's flag or amber waves of grain as they writhe in ecstasy.

We've missed Keri Sable, so we're quite happy to see the dirty little princes in action again. Aside from that, though, there's not much new or noteworthy about "Blonde Ambition"—but so what? We like to think of the collection as a "Best of the Blondes" compilation from one of the best performer-slash-directors (or slashies) to ever hit the jizz biz.

"Blonde Ambition" releases this week from Jules Jordan Video. Check the trailer out below when you’re done enjoying the free sample. And happy Monday!!!

· "Blonde Ambition" (julesjordanvideo.com)

It seems we'll never get tired of "how to get into porn" advice pieces—well, at least not the advice in question comes from Ashlynn Brooke and Shane Diesel (they should know!). Ask Men sits these two down and takes a penetrating look at the many steps of getting into porn. Haha, we said penetrating. (askmen.com; thumbail from "All About Ashlynn 2")

Now that we all have digital cameras or webcams or iPhones or some sort of photo device that doesn't require third party processing, pretty much everyone out there has taken a photo or video of themselves en flagrante delicto—even celebrities (they're just like us!). The difference, of course, is that when your sex tape (or our sex tape) goes public, it really only matters to an audience of tens—as opposed to the tens of thousands (or millions) of people who happen to take interest when, say, Colin Farrell is caught on tape. Over the years, we've made good business tracking the all too many instances of celebrity sex tapes; join us after the jump for a walk down Naked Celebrity Lane.

Kid Rock: We're pretty sure there was only one reason why the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape was ever released: to prove (to someone, we don't know who) that these two a) have (or at least had) groupies and b) have received oral sex. We're pretty sure we didn't need to know either of those things — but hey, that's the world of celeb sex tapes for you.

Joanie "Chyna" Laurer: Female pro-wrestlers don't get nearly enough attention in the press—though we're not really sure that the kind of attention that Chyna's sex tape generated was really appreciated by her fellow female wrestlers (can you say "inch-long and thick-as-a-pinkie clitoris with a corona resembling the head of a penis"?).

Amy Fisher: Given that Amy Fisher's biggest claim to fame was shooting someone in the face, it is, perhaps, a little odd that she followed that up with her very own sex tape. Then again, Amy's criminal career was spawned by an affair she had with the much older Buttafuoco. When she was a teenager. And seriously, how hot does "Long Island Lolita: Caught On Tape" sound? (Related, but vastly less hot: the Joey Buttafuoco sex tape.)

Verne Troyer: Next up in our list of unlikely pornstars is Verne Troyer (better known as "Mini-Me."). Though Troyer didn't take too kindly to his time in the spotlight, we feel the release of his sex tape was actually a bit of a public service. Firstly, it taught us all that, no matter how different you may look, there's always someone out there who'll be willing to love you (and commit it to tape!). Secondly, it gave us all a very, very detailed lesson in how not to kiss.

Gene Simmons: And speaking of KISSing (ha!): you can't spell sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll without sex. And no one knows that better than KISS front man Gene Simmons, whose all too brief career in adult entertainment we were more than happy to analyze.

Dustin Diamond: If you'd told us, as kids, that Screech of "Saved by the Bell" fame would one day be the star of his very own sex tape, we probably would have run screaming from the room (well, after having you explain what, exactly, a "sex tape" was). That reaction wouldn't have been so far off: Dustin Diamond's last ditch effort to reclaim the spotlight was pathetic at best—but at the same time, isn't the whole pathetic grasp at fame thing the whole point of a self-released sex tape? (Oh, and also: Dirty Sanchez.)

Jenna Lewis: Screech wasn't the first "celebrity" to cash in on a "stolen" sex tape: that honor goes to Jenna Lewis, better known as Jenna from "Survivor," who raked in over $70,000 (and extended her fifteen minutes of fame) with her very own sex tape.

Kim Kardashian: And then, of course, there was Kim Kardashian's romp with R&B star Ray J. We never really figured out why Kim was supposed to be a celebrity, but at least she managed to make it with someone with at least a little bit of cred. And, for that matter, Kardashian managed to rake in a decent amount of money, too (much as she denied that she had had any part in the tape's public launch).

Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain: Given that Colin Farrell and former Playboy Playmate are two people we'd actually want to see get it on (as opposed to, well, many of the people who made this list), we were largely convinced that their rumored sex tape had to be a hoax. Yet somehow, it wasn't! See, sometimes the powers that be really do listen to our prayers.

Paris Hilton: Paris's tape hits the top of our list not so much for its quality (it's shot in night vision, for one thing, and Paris was never much of performer) but instead for its cultural significance. Before her flirtation with amateur porn, Paris was just a D-list party girl and hotel chain heiress; post-"One Night in Paris," she was a full-fledged C-list celebutante with her very own reality show. Using a sex tape to eke out a modicum of fame and launch oneself into the spotlight? Brilliant. (Oh, and there's also the matter of Paris's sexploits hitting the newswires the same day that Fleshbot launched—five years ago today! So maybe we're a little sentimental? It happens.)

Bonus Scandal! Dita Von Teese: Lovely Dita didn't so much make a "sex tape" as star in some arty lesbian fetish porn—but hey, the video was hot enough (and the scandal hyped up enough), that we had to include it somewhere. It also wins points for generating one of the best headlines ever seen: "Dita Von Teese had sex with a shoe." She sure did.

Seeing Keeley Hazell covered in gold paint this past summer was one thing, seeing 34FF Summer Cummings covered in gold paint for Bizarre magazine is all together another. Now if only that awards show would give out girls like Summer as a prize, instead of those little statuettes—well, we might actually be motivated to try and win something! (bizarremag.com)