In these trying times, we're all trying to be as green as we can—and the Earth Angel is betting that greening the bedroom is the next big step. But will a hand-cranked vibe really turn your crank?

The main pros to the Earth Angel are immediately obvious. It's made from recycled plastics and doesn't require batteries, so you can rest easy that you're not killing the planet while rubbing one out. It also requires nothing but your own elbow grease to get up and running—a nice bonus if you're ever in need of some, ahem, relaxation during a blackout.

On the con side: look, I can't lie to you, this thing is a bitch to power up. At four minutes of cranking per thirty minutes of vibing, it seems like a lot of work for minimal payoff (especially since—let's face it—many of us could easily get off in four minutes with just our hands, or even an...

Anal queen Tristan Taormino has long held that butts are an equal opportunity erogenous zone—and now she's put that sentiment into practice with her latest "Expert Guide" installment. Yes, Tristan's showing straight men how to enjoy anal stimulation.

The feature follows Tristan's standard format: we begin with a lecture, in which Tristan goes over the basics of anal play and anatomy. Then, special assistants Penny Flame and Devin are brought in for a little "hands on" demonstration. With Tristan there to guide them, they walk us through the basics of going through the back door—with a lot of helpful tips along the way. (One we especially loved: Penny learns how to keep her luscious long nails from doing...

The Cloud 9 vibrator may not be the prettiest sex toy specimen around (to me, at least, it looks like an alien member)—but its silky touch was more than enough to persuade me to give it a go.

Made of a velvety hard plastic, the bumpy toy feels sleek against the skin—always a nice sensation. With its arched head, it's perfectly positioned to rub up against a girl's gspot; the small bumps lining the top of the head feel great when they come into contact with the, ahem, outer areas.

But I found myself wanting to feel the whole toy inside me—and, alas, here is where I was stymied. It looked like it should go in just fine, but whenever I attempted this feat, I found myself out of luck. More persistent (or more flexible) penetrators may have more success with this than I did (and if you do, please report back).

And what, you ask, about...